Lets stop messing around

Lets stop messing around

That's what I'm thinking about today. Have I been messing around? I haven't been exactly balls to the walls hardcore. I've been putting in definite effort. What is holding me back? Why am I not doing more? Shall we break down the psyche of Kim? I should really be having Miss Psychology Sylwia doing that.


I got a mesage last night from Tommy and that line just stuck out to me.

"Lets stop messing around"

I don't know why it's irking me.. Well maybe I do. I'm putting in some effort but I know it's not 100%. Things are making some progress but I'm not moving mountains here, I'm not shartering records, I'm not extraordinary.

What I am is trying. Some days more than others. Some days I am not putting in everything. I am trying to balance life and food and working out and somedays working out just loses the fight.

I don't consider myself a crazy athletic person. I've never been that person in my life. I don't get pumped to go to the gym and work out, albeit it's better now than previously, because I know the high from a good workout and the satisfaction I feel outweighs everything else.. but it's still a struggle.

I'm doing this alone. I work out alone. I cook these healthy meals alone, just for me. I'm fine with it. Maybe that's why I'm struggling. I know I have support from y'all who read this.. but honestly, sucky to not have the person to know they're in the same boat as you. or to have someone to pass the time with because boy can an hour drag on. Next week, after Tasha starts her new job she and I are getting week passes to lifetime and we are going to go work out for a week and swim and everything, so that'll be good. It's just hard doing it alone when you're not used to doing it at all.

So I'll work out tonight. I'll jam out to my ipod. Do an hour on the elliptical and suck it up because I'm better than the amount of effort I've been giving thus far.