Rise and Shine. Time to Grind.
Working out is great... but I am exhausted. Still sore from my weight session with a trainer at Lifetime. I am pretty proud of what I've been accomplishing. Sticking to working out, it's getting easier to actually get up and do it, but I am very much NOT a morning person, easier to not cheat with food, a treat or so here and there I am not going to beat myself over as long as I make sure I am getting the workout in to make up for it.
I took before pictures yesterday.. I can see a difference from how I was last beginning of 2012 January when I went to Disney with Sylwia to when I went to Disney with Simone and even to how I am now but I am not done yet.
I'm hungry for this. I can't accurately describe how bad I want that medal from my 10k. That is what I want and I know I can get it. I have so much potential and I'm only just tapping into it.
I will not go back to what I used to be.
I can only get better.
That's my only option.
Each day better than the one before.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
I call do-over already
Woke up late
Didn't grab a shake this morning
Slept poorly
Just want this Monday to be over already and I haven't even started working yet.
Brightside? I am mad crazy sore but that good kind of "I killed it yesterday" sore.
What a start to a week right? I still got this. Tired and sore but I've got this.
Didn't grab a shake this morning
Slept poorly
Just want this Monday to be over already and I haven't even started working yet.
Brightside? I am mad crazy sore but that good kind of "I killed it yesterday" sore.
What a start to a week right? I still got this. Tired and sore but I've got this.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Killing it.
Create a plan. Kill the plan. Repeat daily.
I need to remember this. I get frustrated looking at the long-term and yes I know that the long term matters but what matters more is today. Right now. The immediate future. Am I making the best decisions? Am I doing what needs to be done to see results?
I woke up an hour earlier than I do for my overtime before work today and I came to work early and hit the gym. I did an hour on the elliptical, finished my book with 20 minutes left to go. I did it. I almost didn't do it. I reset my alarm when it went off... did it an hour later (my normal time to wake up for OT)... But I got up. I did lay there for a bit and in my head went through what I would gain getting up and going to work out and how much an extra 45 minutes or hour of sleep was really going to benefit me... chances are I probably wouldn't have been able to fall back asleep if I had chosen to stay in bed. So I worked out, and yes I feel so good but in all honesty? I'm still freaking tired... It's a good tired, but still.. I feel like I could use a nap today. Doesn't help that my sleeping still is out of whack...
Any suggestions for that? I've done work outs before bed, but still.. I'm up can't fall asleep.. I don't really want to go back on sleeping medication but that's always an option... Help? Brenda suggested trying Melatonin.. I'll look into that.
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!or as I call today GRIND-DAY!
I need to remember this. I get frustrated looking at the long-term and yes I know that the long term matters but what matters more is today. Right now. The immediate future. Am I making the best decisions? Am I doing what needs to be done to see results?
I woke up an hour earlier than I do for my overtime before work today and I came to work early and hit the gym. I did an hour on the elliptical, finished my book with 20 minutes left to go. I did it. I almost didn't do it. I reset my alarm when it went off... did it an hour later (my normal time to wake up for OT)... But I got up. I did lay there for a bit and in my head went through what I would gain getting up and going to work out and how much an extra 45 minutes or hour of sleep was really going to benefit me... chances are I probably wouldn't have been able to fall back asleep if I had chosen to stay in bed. So I worked out, and yes I feel so good but in all honesty? I'm still freaking tired... It's a good tired, but still.. I feel like I could use a nap today. Doesn't help that my sleeping still is out of whack...
Any suggestions for that? I've done work outs before bed, but still.. I'm up can't fall asleep.. I don't really want to go back on sleeping medication but that's always an option... Help? Brenda suggested trying Melatonin.. I'll look into that.
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!or as I call today GRIND-DAY!
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Lets stop messing around
Lets stop messing around
That's what I'm thinking about today. Have I been messing around? I haven't been exactly balls to the walls hardcore. I've been putting in definite effort. What is holding me back? Why am I not doing more? Shall we break down the psyche of Kim? I should really be having Miss Psychology Sylwia doing that.
I got a mesage last night from Tommy and that line just stuck out to me.
"Lets stop messing around"
I don't know why it's irking me.. Well maybe I do. I'm putting in some effort but I know it's not 100%. Things are making some progress but I'm not moving mountains here, I'm not shartering records, I'm not extraordinary.
What I am is trying. Some days more than others. Some days I am not putting in everything. I am trying to balance life and food and working out and somedays working out just loses the fight.
I don't consider myself a crazy athletic person. I've never been that person in my life. I don't get pumped to go to the gym and work out, albeit it's better now than previously, because I know the high from a good workout and the satisfaction I feel outweighs everything else.. but it's still a struggle.
I'm doing this alone. I work out alone. I cook these healthy meals alone, just for me. I'm fine with it. Maybe that's why I'm struggling. I know I have support from y'all who read this.. but honestly, sucky to not have the person to know they're in the same boat as you. or to have someone to pass the time with because boy can an hour drag on. Next week, after Tasha starts her new job she and I are getting week passes to lifetime and we are going to go work out for a week and swim and everything, so that'll be good. It's just hard doing it alone when you're not used to doing it at all.
So I'll work out tonight. I'll jam out to my ipod. Do an hour on the elliptical and suck it up because I'm better than the amount of effort I've been giving thus far.
That's what I'm thinking about today. Have I been messing around? I haven't been exactly balls to the walls hardcore. I've been putting in definite effort. What is holding me back? Why am I not doing more? Shall we break down the psyche of Kim? I should really be having Miss Psychology Sylwia doing that.
I got a mesage last night from Tommy and that line just stuck out to me.
"Lets stop messing around"
I don't know why it's irking me.. Well maybe I do. I'm putting in some effort but I know it's not 100%. Things are making some progress but I'm not moving mountains here, I'm not shartering records, I'm not extraordinary.
What I am is trying. Some days more than others. Some days I am not putting in everything. I am trying to balance life and food and working out and somedays working out just loses the fight.
I don't consider myself a crazy athletic person. I've never been that person in my life. I don't get pumped to go to the gym and work out, albeit it's better now than previously, because I know the high from a good workout and the satisfaction I feel outweighs everything else.. but it's still a struggle.
I'm doing this alone. I work out alone. I cook these healthy meals alone, just for me. I'm fine with it. Maybe that's why I'm struggling. I know I have support from y'all who read this.. but honestly, sucky to not have the person to know they're in the same boat as you. or to have someone to pass the time with because boy can an hour drag on. Next week, after Tasha starts her new job she and I are getting week passes to lifetime and we are going to go work out for a week and swim and everything, so that'll be good. It's just hard doing it alone when you're not used to doing it at all.
So I'll work out tonight. I'll jam out to my ipod. Do an hour on the elliptical and suck it up because I'm better than the amount of effort I've been giving thus far.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Continuing On...
It's days like today I need a serious pep talk. Today does not want to happen. I know I should work on being more positive but honestly I am tired. I think of the end of my shift today and I just want to go home and sleep. Will I feel better after working out? I know I will. Will it be a long greuling hour? Of course it will. Will I be bored out of my mind on the stupid elliptical? Yes. Duh. Will I do it? I guess because Tommy Becker's gonna beat me up if I don't. (Not really. He's probably one of the single nicest and most positive people I know. I do feel like I'd get a head shake and a stern talking to though.)
I just need some extra motivation and a pep talk today. I'm not feeling on the ball and really not feeling like working out. Ask me later though how I feel. I'm sure that'll change come 7pm.
Anyways... that's my post.
I just need some extra motivation and a pep talk today. I'm not feeling on the ball and really not feeling like working out. Ask me later though how I feel. I'm sure that'll change come 7pm.
Anyways... that's my post.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
So Here we go. I don't even know what day number it is at this point. I ended last week on a much better note than I began it on.
I worked out after work Friday night. An hour on the elliptical. An hour after work on a Friday nigh.. Yes this is my life.... It's totally in my head that I don't get the same work out from an elliptical than I do when I would go running. It was hard. It at times felt like it was dragging on for FOREVER. But I survived. And best part? I'm doing it again this week... X4!!!
Anyways. I've got to be diligent on the working out front. I'm going to be tired... I'm not going to want o... but if I want to cross that finish line in February I need to be putting in all of me to these work outs. To quote Mister Tommy "The body follows the mind not the other way around. Be strong." I am listening for when my ankle is hurting but I can push myself and do better than I may think I can. I tend to get caught up in my head a lot more than I really should.
I'm seeing changes slowly but surely. I went to Ridgedale with mom and got to do some shopping.. I know I am not dropping lbs.. which I'm fine with.. but I can tell with my body and how I'm eating and how I'm working out that I am beginning to reap the benefits of these lifestyle changes. I tend to have more energy, I'm in a better mood... my weight although staying pretty even, has been shifting, I can tell parts of me are getting smaller? If that makes sense.. It's not like it'll be an overnight change and I waaaay understand and accept that. I'm happy with the progress that I have been making.
I really wanted to take a moment from updating on progress and truly show my gratitude for my friends and family that have been supporting me and keeping me on track with everything. A real big shout out to Sylwia. She not only puts up with my ridiculous snap chats from the elliptical but she has been crazy supportive and motivating. Like last week.. I was not doing a thing last week. I was off. Bad mood. Bad funk. Working out was not really happening and she texted me, Syl.. I'm totally sharing because I saved those messages and they're my motivation when I feel like quitting or feel like it's too hard.
"I was stalking your blog a little bit.. Keep going! the first days are always the hardest. I have tried so many times to run 'regularly' and 10-15 days in to it I always quit. You need to get over the hill and it's a breeze from there. Don't let all the hard work you put in the past few weeks go to waste! You got this and I'm so proud of you. Keep going because you're a great inspiration for me! I love you!"
That's really kind of become my mantra for this... trip I'm going on. "I got this." I find myself telling myself that time and time again. "This is not as hard as I'm making it out to be... You've got this in you." Also... Who could ask for a better sister than her? ("sister" for those who are all like "I didn't know you had a sister!" Three summers together at camp and you really are family) But I also wanted to thank my friends who comment on my blog, my statuses, or message me just to see how things are going when I've taken more than a few days between updates (Another nod to Sylwia "Blog Updates!!! Please!!!") Also.. if I snap chat you from the elliptical.. it is A. Because I love and/or appreciate and/or miss you and B. because if I don't I really may die from boredom. SO BORING. but maybe it'll start to grow on me... and/or C... I haven't gotten any audio books yet. I tried to read on the elliptical and that made my head hurt.. too much moving and it just was not a good mix.
Anyways....
I forgot how many days until my race.. but it's a 10k... that's a little over 6 miles... I've got 90 minutes to do it.. that's like a 15 minute mile... Doable.. I'm worried about being able to do 6 of them in a row though... but if me working out is any indication.... I was on the elliptical for an hour.. did 4 miles.. that's pretty much on track to what I will need to be able to run. And you have NO idea how bad I want to finish and get that medal. That'll be the cherry on top to this journey and life I'm choosing to go on and live.
Alright. Peace out people....
Yeah I might need some sleep....
Ugh. Monday. Here I come. Get ready. And thanks for making it through my ramblings.
I worked out after work Friday night. An hour on the elliptical. An hour after work on a Friday nigh.. Yes this is my life.... It's totally in my head that I don't get the same work out from an elliptical than I do when I would go running. It was hard. It at times felt like it was dragging on for FOREVER. But I survived. And best part? I'm doing it again this week... X4!!!
Anyways. I've got to be diligent on the working out front. I'm going to be tired... I'm not going to want o... but if I want to cross that finish line in February I need to be putting in all of me to these work outs. To quote Mister Tommy "The body follows the mind not the other way around. Be strong." I am listening for when my ankle is hurting but I can push myself and do better than I may think I can. I tend to get caught up in my head a lot more than I really should.
I'm seeing changes slowly but surely. I went to Ridgedale with mom and got to do some shopping.. I know I am not dropping lbs.. which I'm fine with.. but I can tell with my body and how I'm eating and how I'm working out that I am beginning to reap the benefits of these lifestyle changes. I tend to have more energy, I'm in a better mood... my weight although staying pretty even, has been shifting, I can tell parts of me are getting smaller? If that makes sense.. It's not like it'll be an overnight change and I waaaay understand and accept that. I'm happy with the progress that I have been making.
I really wanted to take a moment from updating on progress and truly show my gratitude for my friends and family that have been supporting me and keeping me on track with everything. A real big shout out to Sylwia. She not only puts up with my ridiculous snap chats from the elliptical but she has been crazy supportive and motivating. Like last week.. I was not doing a thing last week. I was off. Bad mood. Bad funk. Working out was not really happening and she texted me, Syl.. I'm totally sharing because I saved those messages and they're my motivation when I feel like quitting or feel like it's too hard.
"I was stalking your blog a little bit.. Keep going! the first days are always the hardest. I have tried so many times to run 'regularly' and 10-15 days in to it I always quit. You need to get over the hill and it's a breeze from there. Don't let all the hard work you put in the past few weeks go to waste! You got this and I'm so proud of you. Keep going because you're a great inspiration for me! I love you!"
That's really kind of become my mantra for this... trip I'm going on. "I got this." I find myself telling myself that time and time again. "This is not as hard as I'm making it out to be... You've got this in you." Also... Who could ask for a better sister than her? ("sister" for those who are all like "I didn't know you had a sister!" Three summers together at camp and you really are family) But I also wanted to thank my friends who comment on my blog, my statuses, or message me just to see how things are going when I've taken more than a few days between updates (Another nod to Sylwia "Blog Updates!!! Please!!!") Also.. if I snap chat you from the elliptical.. it is A. Because I love and/or appreciate and/or miss you and B. because if I don't I really may die from boredom. SO BORING. but maybe it'll start to grow on me... and/or C... I haven't gotten any audio books yet. I tried to read on the elliptical and that made my head hurt.. too much moving and it just was not a good mix.
Anyways....
I forgot how many days until my race.. but it's a 10k... that's a little over 6 miles... I've got 90 minutes to do it.. that's like a 15 minute mile... Doable.. I'm worried about being able to do 6 of them in a row though... but if me working out is any indication.... I was on the elliptical for an hour.. did 4 miles.. that's pretty much on track to what I will need to be able to run. And you have NO idea how bad I want to finish and get that medal. That'll be the cherry on top to this journey and life I'm choosing to go on and live.
Alright. Peace out people....
Yeah I might need some sleep....
Ugh. Monday. Here I come. Get ready. And thanks for making it through my ramblings.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Day # Frustrated... in the middle of week # Stuck.
That's pretty much how I feel this week. I am a stick in the mud.
I hate feeling like this. I don't want to work out. I don't care right now about what I'm eating (I have NOT flown off the handle and gone all crazy) but this week is definitely trying my determination.
I know that this change wont' happen overnight but I feel frustrated for not seeing better results at this point. I feel like I need to rebegin my 90 days. I was so into it day 1. I'm just coasting this week. Which is hard for me. I'm not sleeping well. I'm actually pretty grumpy... I don't like feeling like this. I need a kick in the rear to get me going again. I'm just dealing with a lot in my head. You'd think working out would be a great outlet for me to forget, at least temporarily... Not so much the case. At least it's not proving to be that way.
I had a discussion with Tommy about the elliptical. Right now the elliptical is like my arch nemesis. I hate it. I can't express this enough
I HATE THE ELLIPTICAL
I really do. I feel like I don't get the same result as when I get out and actually run. I can feel/see how far I have gone from where I began and just seeing a distance measured on a little screen doesn't give the same feeling to me.
Sorry guys I just don't feel on the ball this week. Maybe I need a new start. a new 100%. Ugh. I'm just beating myself up. I know I can do better than I am.. I just I don't know. It's so hard to explain.
p.s boys suck.
I hate feeling like this. I don't want to work out. I don't care right now about what I'm eating (I have NOT flown off the handle and gone all crazy) but this week is definitely trying my determination.
I know that this change wont' happen overnight but I feel frustrated for not seeing better results at this point. I feel like I need to rebegin my 90 days. I was so into it day 1. I'm just coasting this week. Which is hard for me. I'm not sleeping well. I'm actually pretty grumpy... I don't like feeling like this. I need a kick in the rear to get me going again. I'm just dealing with a lot in my head. You'd think working out would be a great outlet for me to forget, at least temporarily... Not so much the case. At least it's not proving to be that way.
I had a discussion with Tommy about the elliptical. Right now the elliptical is like my arch nemesis. I hate it. I can't express this enough
I HATE THE ELLIPTICAL
I really do. I feel like I don't get the same result as when I get out and actually run. I can feel/see how far I have gone from where I began and just seeing a distance measured on a little screen doesn't give the same feeling to me.
Sorry guys I just don't feel on the ball this week. Maybe I need a new start. a new 100%. Ugh. I'm just beating myself up. I know I can do better than I am.. I just I don't know. It's so hard to explain.
p.s boys suck.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)