Ok. Ugh.

Alright. Just met with Tommy. Crack down. 2 weeks, 4 days. No running. Elliptical. Two weeks to get begter with my legs before running more. I got this... I'm just stubborn.

Day 20.

You know what? 148 days til my 10 k 148 days!!!!

I am not as confident right now in my ability to run a 10k.. but this has been an off week. I have gone out but my runs have been significantly shorter. It feels almost like my calf is like a jack in the box.. they get so tight like someone's been cranking it and tightening it but it won't loosen up.. I mean it will when I'm not walking or running.. but I can't just take all this time off. So I've been going out.. doing what I do.. but doing less. I know I still need to be active and get out there.. so yesterday I did a mile.. which wasn't too bad but I'm going slower because it is sore. I'm listening to the signs my body is giving me to not over do things, but at the same time I'm not going to fall back into a cycle of laziness.

Sorry.

Not for me anymore

I'm going to meet up with Tommy and see if he has any suggestions aside from what I'm already doing in regards to that.

Alright onto food! It's hard for me to get 100% with the "diet" although it's not a diet. Diet suggests temporary change, this lifestyle lets say. I know I should be eating much more protein than I am currently but taking the time to cook all that protein and really make meals for myself is proving to be a struggle, but last night I conquered one hurdle. I made a bunch of chicken breast, well seasoned and sauteed. Made servings of bown rice to go with it as well as vegetables. Guess what this girl's eating for lunch?
It's also just hard to find healthier recipes that are going to taste good and have actual flavor. How hard is that? ANNNDDDD without having to go out and get a whole new fridge of groceries because I don't have some weird spices or obscure vegetables. It's a work in progress. I'm thinking this weekend if I can make my week's food ahead of time I'll feel less put off to cook. It's just hard to work, come home, go for a run and then go hmm... food.. Welcome to adult life right?

I've also recently been getting more headaches. Headaches terrify me. Even though I've talked to my dr about them and they are not migraines, they are muscle band headaches that go from temple to temple around my forehead, I worry. For those of you readers of this blog that don't know... When I was a freshman in high school my mom had a brain aneurysm when we were on spring break in Florida. I worry about that... even with the consolation of my dr... still worry, especially when they seem to be more frequent... I think it may be related to allergies (ragweed ugh! thanks dad!) and I don't think I'm drinking enough water. There's only so much water that one can drink before you feel like you're just going to float away.. or run to the restroom every hour (hard to do in a call center...) I'm working on drinking more of it. It's just again hard. I have to keep doing it though. The gain is worth the intake. Maybe my headaches will become less and less.

so that's my update

goals for this weekend:

Get back up to running further, ideally get back up to 2.5 miles. Don't take a day off completely, if I need a break I will walk and still get the time in.

Drink much more water

Make my food for next week ahead of time so I don't stray and take the easy way out with meals.

plus shout out to Brenda for making me stay ontop of updating this. I was going to! I swear!!!

Day 16?

I kept going. I did a fourth day of running. 60 minutes 2.6 miles. For real... how good do I feel? Pretty dang good. Thank you.

Day 14.

Props to Sylwia for keeping me on the ball, I've been meaning to update but this week has been so strange. I was not feeling well Tuesday and Wednesday, took time off from work but now I feel better. Things are falling into place. Like really.

Okay let me break it down for you. I kick serious butt. So today was my third consecutive day going out and working out. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.. and I think I might have had my first "runner's high" I was told it will happen.. I don't even know how to describe it.. it was towards the end of my run.. I just felt like.. I don't know. My legs just knew what to do and I could push out that last quarter mile and boy did I.

I run out my emotions.. I don't break down for many people and I don't let a lot of people in because I don't feel like I want to be a burden and haven also found that most people just don't care about what I may be going through so why just go through the motions? I get really angry and run out my emotions. I think about the people in my life I care about, that truly mater, that have been supportive through everything... I run for them. Those SOB's that, at times I wish I could maybe run down with my car, or at least go back and erase their existence in my life... I run for them. Then there's me. I run for me. I run for the person I used to be, the person I am, the person I'll never be, and for the person I could be.

 Lemme break down the past 3 days and what I've done.

Wednesday- 40 minutes and ran 2.25 miles.

Thursday- 45 minutes and ran 1.91 miles.
Friday (Today)- 50 minutes and ran 2.45 miles.

 I realize that those times aren't really impressive.. but I'm super proud of those times! I had to retype these sentences a bunch of times... It was like I wanted to make excuses or try to justify to other people why those times mean a lot to me... I don't need people's validation to show that I'm doing a good job, although it certainly does help the ego every now and again. I am a work in progress and I feel like I'm progressing in the right direction...

 Food is a small struggle still.. mainly because okay.. the amount of protein I should be eating is like.. okay a lot of meat. I'm not that big a meat and potatoes kinda gal.. I tend more towards a vegetarian lifestyle.. not that well cooked protein isn't fabulous.. but it takes time to make stuff taste good! and if you rush it you get the uneatable chicken breast I had on Monday... or tried to have on Monday... So that's something I'm still working on I'm hoping that this weekend I can get together my meals for the week and have one less thing to really worry about. But other than that... I've been doing much better.. eating healthier.. I need to drink more water for sure... but I'm conscious of the decisions I'm making and if I have something that maybe isn't the greatest (those newton cookies my mom had out.. okay not horrible and I had 1 serving) I'm not going to beat myself up over. It's more motivation to make sure that I go out and do the work that I need to for when I may not be on top of that portion of this lifestyle.

So sorry for the delay in the blog. There you go. and I hope you do stay tuned to see how this turns out. I'm excited about my life.. Dare I say maybe a bikini for Florida in Feb? Psshhh. I'm not gonna push that far but 6 miles looks a lot more obtainable after a week like this.

BOOYAH.

...and some pictures!!

my trail buddy tonight.. didn't jump away let me get super close (camp much???)

panoramic view underneath the bridge I run over

I wish the colors turned out better.. it was gorgeous purple and pink tonight after the rain... like a watercolor painting...

signs that fall is coming.. the changing sumac

... bridge...

Hello friend. We meet again... the beginning of my run every time. I'm becoming a creature of habit with my trail.

Day 10.

I'm still here right? ... I am struggling this Monday. I started out with my banana and chocolate shake like I do now... but I can't seem to pull it together. I think it's allergies to, although I know, I'm part of the "no excuses club" but my head is pounding. This ragweed needs to just go away. I'm excited to go home and cook though after work. Make some tasty meals for this week. Small steps.. also rice cakes ... totally yum. Just a short update here. I'll do a better one later.

Day 9.

So I was happy being lazy today. I did grocery shopping and cooked but I know to make this work I have to push myself. I went to lifetime and hit the treadmill and elliptical. Another 40 minute work out. 30 minutes treadmill 1.5 miles and 10 on the elliptical over .5 miles.

I don't know about this ankle... I'm thinking about contacting my orthopedic surgeon because it's giving me so much trouble.

Post work out

Alright. Blogger app I hate you. Okay so I hit the elliptical post work and wow. I feel great. Okay I didn't get the full 60 minutes
But 40 ain't too shabby. (Dont be mad Tommy.. are tou even reading this? Ia this thing on? C'mon comment people!)

Food is going well. It helps having an application to track everything including my steps/workouts. I feel like its caused a big look at life for me and how much I've been coasting, not paying attention to what I put in my body. I mean I'm realistic enough to know I won't be a size 0 but I wouldn't want to be either. I'm comfortable having some curves but a little less would be fab. I also just feel better having more fruits and vegetables. I don't feel oike my energy levels go so high up and so far down. I'm even keel. I'm still tired come morning but sleep schedule needs some help. Working out more should really help.

Okay. Its almost day 7. I haven't caved, broke down and felt like I've been missing anything. Sure rob's fries looked tasty and I'm sure they were. I'm not starving myself, when I feel hungry I eat, I'm just much more conscious of what I go to grab for for lunch, dinner and snacks.

This weekend? Grocery shopping. Sweet.

I am strong

Our manager brought in cookies... for real. This is tough. But I'm gonna hit the elliptical after work for an hour. I'm giving myself big props for not caving yet.. and I won't. I'm persistent. (thank you camp for teaching me about patience and persistence)

Day 6

Alright. So.... I'm better than I think I am at keeping on track. Okay so I openly admit this has been a bad week for working out, I've been walking more, parking further away, taking stairs (except when I got really light-headed.. that was scary) but going and hitting the pavement or gym has not happened. I'm not going to make excuses about my ankle or about how I didn't have gym access at work so we'll leave it at that, but I am hitting the gym as soon as I'm done today. 1 hour on the elliptical and I'm going to kick butt. Well okay so last night, went out to Applebee's with Anderson and Rob... I drank water thank you very much and ordered grilled shrimp with grilled veggies and corn salsa. I opted out of the rice as a side and got more veggies. I love vegetables. For real. So good (when cooked well) while Rob and Anderson had fries and wings. I did not have a single one. Self restraint huh? It's the little things that are adding up to the big picture. We do not faulter, we do not give up. We push on because we know the end result will be worth the effort.

Day 5?

Another day here... I like my job but I do wish I was more active at work.. I've been making it a priority to take the stairs and oh my gosh.. 4 flights of stairs, down is easy but up? Gosh it's embarrassing how out of shape I feel. This week hasn't felt like a good week for working out. Last day I went running was Saturday and my ankle hardcore swelled. I have been working with Tommy on figuring out what I should be doing to work out and we (okay he) decided I'm going to hit the elliptical. Goal 4x a week for 60 minutes, no resistance and no incline. Should be much easier impact on my ankle. Although I'm about ready to chop the bloody thing off. After this much time it should not be giving me so much grief. I've done a lot of walking though, got a nifty pedometer that updates my smartphone and all these other apps I have going. Goal is 10,000 steps a day, and I've been on the increase, parking further away, taking the stairs... doing things in lieu of working out. It also doesn't help that I'm waiting to get access to the gym at my new building here at work... Don't really feel like I should have to drive accross town to our other office before/after work just to use the elliptical/weights. So I've been doing things instead... also do you know how much walking you do at mall of america? Answer? A LOT. and then last night my coworker Ashley and I went to the twins game, we parked a little bit of a trek away, and got to walk to the game and back.. upped the steps on my pedometer for sure. I'm still pretty positive with my outlook, I know it's day 4/90 it'd be way bad if I was super discouraged already... but this ankle business is throwing a wrench in my plans. I think a lot of that does have to do with the weather though... Anyways. I'm rambling.. A lot...

Day 3/90

So I decided instead of plaguing facebook with my updates, I'm going to kick off a blog about it. So it's going to be a bit ramble-y, and I figure those people who have been amazing and supportive will keep me motivated and hold me accountable to staying on track and keep updating on my process... and no. sorry I'm not going to be posting my weight. Yes some of my self worth is tied into that number, but I'm focusing not so much on the number, but on feeling and being healthier period. Sure do I want to lose 50lbs? Yes. Is it doable? Heck yes. Is it going to take lots of work? Tons and tons. But I'm committed. I'm excited to begin this journey. 90 days and I want this to be my new lifestyle, to be more conscious of what I'm putting into my body and how I'm being active. So what's the story Kim? Well, I've been stalled in my life for a while. I did the weight loss thing, I lost about 50 lbs in the past year but I've stalled. I've not been putting in the effort and I've not really been focused. I feel like it's a dis-service to myself not being the best that I can be or feeling great all the time. So I decided I need to make some serious changes here and get back on track. I got in contact with a friend from High School, big football athlete, I'm pretty sure if anyone knows his stuff, it's this guy. I had a trainer when I belonged to lifetime fitness and no offense to her (not like she's going to read this) but she was not motivating, she didn't hold me accountable... she actually instead of calling me and asking me where I was for morning class, talked to my boss (her friend) to get me to come in. How impersonal? I was not having it. I gave up. If the effort and belief isn't going to be put in me then why should I put any effort into going into the gym and sweating? No motivation. I really should have been doing anyways, but doing it for me. So why not ask for help? (I hate asking for help because I feel like I'm a failure even though I realize I'm not an expert in athleticism or weight loss.. I should be asking so I do it right... but still.. I'm in my own head too much). So better to ask someone who actually knows me, go back to Kindergarten with at Birchview and is passionate about this and is going to hold my butt accountable. Anways. I'm sure there's much more psychological stuff that's going into this than I want to get into here, but a break-up also might have given me the kickstart I needed. I should better myself. Take time to take care of me and not just do the superficial things but really get down to the nitty gritty and kick butt. So the motivation? I am signed up to run a 10k in the end of February down in Disney. I am not a runner. I don't think I have ever enjoyed running. But now... I don't hate it. I don't know that I'm totally on that runner's high yet.. but the hardest part is actually going out and hitting the pavement... but when I do.. yeah there's that period where it's like "Oh my god... Why am I doing this? This is the worst idea. It's hot and gross and I'm hot and gross and..." but I hear people's voices in my head (well mainly one person's and not in a crazy way fyi) Nicole Anderson (or Anderson... or Hans Christian for those of you who don't know here or may get confused if I refer to her as such... I've known her since sixth grade)... I'm running with her in Disney in Feb. And she knows I can push myself further than I do. I am stronger than I think I am and capable of much more than I do. So I hear her, usually yelling at me as to why I stopped, she knows I can keep going. She's that tough love aspect in my life when it comes to working out. So I've got 6 months... 10k... that's like 6.something miles... to do in 90 minutes... it's totally obtainable and I'll get a medal if I do... And I figure if I die doing it, I'll die in Disney, the happiest place on earth. It's going to take so much work though. I'm so pumped for it. So uhh... where was I going with all of this.... So this blog. I'm going to write about my progress and my struggles here, maybe document what I'm eating, or how much I'm exercising... Although I've got a sweet smart phone app for that, I even bought a cool pedometer that links up with my phone and computer and updates for how many steps I've done. It's also helpful that this is falling with some health competitions with work... Of which I'm currently logged in for 4 different ones: 10k-a-day Walk or run to work, or everywhere, so you can achieve 10,000 steps or more every day on your pedometer. It's the equivalent of 5 miles a day! Move More Minutes In this challenge the goal is to log 150 minutes in workouts a week. Any exercise counts, just log the duration and start accumulating your minutes! Weight Loss In this 8-week goal based challenge, participants are being challenged to lose 5% of their current body weight. AND Fruit and Veggie During this challenge, do your best to earn 20 points each week by eating fruits and vegetables. 1 point for every 50 calories in fruits or vegetables. I know it's going to take time, patience, persistence and support but I know I have the tools and people to be able to help me succeed. And more important I have a drive now. I'm going to succeed because there is no plan b. Day 3.